The unfortunate MOTHER

Again the eyes were wet today. No matter how much she tries to stop herself not to think about the past but still she breaks down & cry her heart out in silence. The word "Mother" can be defined & quoted in infinite ways. For a woman the stage of Motherhood is very crucial & enchanting. For nine months she hold a life within her & with bone breaking pain she gives birth to her child. The nine months time is crucial for the mother. She has to eat healthy, carry the weight all over & has to stay positive. And all these things are arranged by the father who takes care of the mother & fulfills the promises & the vows which he took on the wedding day. But life is not easy for a woman who has no one in her life, who has been abandoned & moreover has lost her baby during an accident while she was 4 months pregnant. All hopes & dreams came crashing through when Roxy was informed that her baby is no more. She was shattered. She tries to feel the baby bump which is not their anymore. Tears started trickling down from her eyes. When she was discharged from the hospital she straight away went to the church & with tears in her eyes she started arguing with the Lord. " I never complained when I was deprived of love from my parents, I never complained when my friends betrayed me, I never complained when my marriage broke, But today I need an explanation why you took away my baby? You knew that to be a mother was the only good news I ever had in my life but still you didn't felt sorry for me & decided to take away my happiness. I wanted to feel the soft heart beat of my baby, I wanted my baby to hold my hand through it's little fingers. I wanted to see my baby taking it's first step & referring me as Mommy. I wanted to feel the joy of giving birth. But that pain has been substituted by some other pain which can never be healed."  saying this she left the church & from that day onwards Roxy's life changed. She was not the same person again. Just like a robot she managed her  things & feelings. But deep inside she still is tender & caring. She loves going to the park, not because she loves the bright beautiful day, it's because of the kids & family coming there. She loves to see babies been carried by their parents, some of the toddlers are playing with their parents & are throwing their tantrums. She places herself on the park bench & tries to get a glimpse of the toddlers around. She hids her eyes with big sun-glasses so that no one notices the tears once she gets nostalgic. After an hour she leaves the park & visits the church where she speaks to her Lord, the only companion whom she had all through her life & prays for a bright future for all the kids out there.

UNSPOKEN WORDS

It was near evening time when I went to the terrace to water the flower pots. I went to the terrace with my coffee mug & opened the gate. After watering the flower pots I decided to relax & enjoy the coffee. The winter evenings are a bit soothing for me. And whenever I am alone I get drowned in my thoughts & get nostalgic. Sometimes I do wish that someone can get to know what I want to convey or why I am acting so strange ? Some people have the tendency to judge others by their looks, verbal speech, behavior etc. No matter how good you do for them they will still be ungrateful. There has been many instances in my life where I was like that's it I am not going to be nice to them & will take revenge but the very next moment I put on the radio & listens to a song which makes me remember the happy old times just flushes the anger away & the very next moment I am weeping like a toddler. One does feels low when things  are not in your favor, when people creates a false perception on their mind against you, when you have thousands of contacts in your phone-book but still no one calls or text to know whether you are alive or not. Yes, I have been through various instances of life where I have been shattered, exploited, betrayed & crushed. I had some people who promised to be in my happy & sad moments but to be honest I fail to remember any of them who fulfilled their promises. Once I had a face to face conversation with them they said that you are too emotional & sometimes you yourself don't take the first step to communicate. Indeed I was shocked. I was like if I don't go around mocking people, if I don't go to disco & party like them that doesn't mean I don't like to be with you. I never asked you to change for me then why do I need to follow the clauses to be you "FRIEND". When you wanted your needs to be fulfilled I did my best but when I just needed a shoulder to cry why did you ran away ? It's been quite some time sine I have been in touch with anyone. Rarely I go one the social site & upload any status. But still till date I remember each &

every individual in my prayer. I pray for their well-being, those who betrayed me I pray to the Lord to make them wise. with a deep breath I try to come out of the nostalgic feeling & try to get a glimpse of the street from my terrace. Lods of people roaming around. I see a group of people chatting, laughing, sharing hi5 to each other  in a cafe coffee shop. It brings a light smile on my face & suddenly a tear trickles down from my left eye. I turned my face away & looked up at the evening where the North star was visible now. It was the only star visible at that point of time but later on it will be accompanied with the other twinkles as the night will grow on. With the same feeling & hope I close my eyes & wish that someday there will be good times & there will be an individual whom you don't have to explain anything, that person will be able to acknowledge your pain & sorrows through your eyes itself. strange but true ....

Being a LOTUS

Time & situation won't be the same as before neither will people...It's true that nothing will stay for long but life has taught me a very good thing...Whatever be the situation, no matter how rudely people behave or they take for granted just remember you don't have to justify your position because true people will never ask for any justification & will always be with you..Even if you walk alone, just walk, if you want to sit down & cry you can cry, want to sing then just sing or dance as if no one is watching you, Just never lose your charm & morals. Because that whats makes you unique. And just remember no matter who you are, wherever you are, no mater how worse the situation is just remember the Almighty, have faith & be yourself. Try to sympathise, empathise & most important try to bring a smile on others face. For me happiness is not limited to iphone, tablet, bid mansons, gold etc. When a baby hold your finger, when you see the sun rise, when you smell a flower, when you soak your feets in the river, when you play with your pet, when you silently talk to the Lord,  when you enjoy a family dinner, when you see your kid walk for the first time, the joy a kid feels when he/she sees his/her daddy back from the army, they joy of being a mother/father.......all these feelings are just priceless.... I know sometimes it's not at ll easy to stay strong all the time & just fake a smile behind those tears. Sit down, talk to the Lord, tell the Lord about your sorrows, cry, ask for forgiveness. Trust me you will feel a bit light. Your tears can only be valued by the Lord or by someone whom Lord has saved for you.... And no matter what happens don't lose your fragrance . Remember a lotus only blooms in a swamp.....

Shakha & Pola ( Conch Bangle)

Shakha & Pola ( Auspicious Conch Jewellery) : Bengali wedding special:

Shakha & Pola are pairs of conch shell specially Shakha the white bangle is made of conch shell, crafted & polished out of conch. Shakha & Pola are a symbol of a married woman. This custom is most popular in eastern part of India.
In west bengal according to the bengali culture the Shakha & pola has a great significance. Before the actual bengali marriage day in the wee hours of very day, married women perform ritual called Dodhi Mangal in which they soak bangles made with shells in turmeric mixed water. Seven married women put shankha pola into bride’s hands. It symbolizes as seven forms of Goddess. According to the folk stories it is believed that this shankha pola custom belongs to poor fishermen because they can’t afford expensive jewelries. The bride has to wear Pola between Shankha or iron metal bangles. It is said that the iron bangle provides firmity to the relation & helps to balance the positive & negative power.

According to me this custom is another golden page of a married life. Shakha & pola are nature's blessing to the married woman. It's a naturally made shell just needs to be carved with care & patience. The Shakha though seems to be firm may get brittle if handled carelessly. Similarly in a married life the bride needs to make sure that she fulfils her responsibility without losing her charm, sensitivity & morals accompanied with auspicious thinking.
It's not mere a decor item but it's a proud for a married woman.
Traditionally whenever a married woman applied vermilion/sindur on her forehead as a symbol of being married she also applies a little vermillion on the left shakha.
Though nowadays Shakha & pola are quite expensive & not that cheap as it was before but still this wonderful tradition goes on without any hindrance.

Shubho Drishti

Bengali Wedding Special:

SHUBO DRISHTI: (Auspicious sight)

In bengali before the bride & the groom are allowed to see each other, a ritual is followed called Shubo Drishti. The bride holds a pair of betel leaf in front of her eyes. Once the priest who conducts the marriage allows them to see each other the bride removes the betel leaf & the first sight fells upon her groom. they both are supposed to stare for a couple of seconds. this ritual is accompanied by the auspicious "Ullur" & by blowing the conch shell by the audience. According to me this ritual is very auspicious & is the first step of the new journey. This ritual shows that when both the souls will be united they will only care , love & respect each other. The first glance of their respective partners indeed germinates the seed of love & gradually along with the rituals it gets developed & through the trust, care & respect the love will be nurtured in the future !!

Pretence

Again I stand bare foot on the cold floor chilled by the soft pre-winter winds....Every night I lock my room's door & quietly stand in the balcony staring the night sky though can't see many stars due to the dam city lights..... still just to make a wish I somehow manage to look for a star....I close my eye & after humming some chants I make a wish & slowly open my eye to catch a last glimpse of the star.... Brrr it sure is cold today but something makes it more chilly...no no it's not the poor wind.... it's the feeling of being betrayed, being not wanted etc etc.... Pain now plays a crucial part in my life....Yes you heard it correctly. ... PAIN ....A feeling which nobody wants to feel ever, but for me it has been haunting since quite a long time....Everyday the thing which act as a witness of my misery & unstable state of mind.... which is my pillow...... Standing in the balcony I remember the promises made by the people claiming to be with you forever are now nowhere to be seen.... Even if I tried to make an attempt they just preach again with some scholastic quotes again making a fake promise to return back but I know how patiently I waited for things come true....Someday ago one of them asked "Are you still single ?" I was like obviously I am.... I have been so unfortunate to have a friend & on top of that getting a mate to mingle is like adding fuel to the fire.... but with a fake smile I delivered a reply , I said "Not that fortunate " ...... I know you must have heard & felt this numerous times but still I would say....Whenever I feel sad & if someone comes & asks Are u ok ? Although I will say "Yes, m perfectly fine" & that too with a fake smile I will still wish for the other person to look into my eyes , grab my shoulder & say "No You are not &I won't leave until you reveal the truth" ......
Anyways months passed, years passed I am still standing the place where they left me....tears have dried, hopes have died....The place where it used to be spring has been overtaken by the cold harsh weather.....The wind whispers, they say "You are all by yourself, the promises will remain unfulfilled, it was never meant for you" Accepting these facts I close my eyes, a tear trickles down & get merged with the darkness where I dwell.....

Just feel the breeze... soft cool air passes around.... takes away the pain & makes one numb for a moment... This breeze reminds me how easy life can be if we stop worrying about silly things..let the prejudice & assumptions take a back seat.... If you think you need someone to complete you then let me tell yiu dear you are wrong...you are a bundle of joy.... maybe a source of inspiration for others.... you know what you need someone who accepts you completely. ... Just feel the breeze outside it whispers " Everything will be fine" ...