I tried to keep this blog anonymous so that I can vent out things without the readers knowing me. On a second thought I was like, how does it matter even if my details appears as a blogger. Hence, I switched back to the normal mode.
Once I was going through my contact available in my phone & was checking the status updated by them on a social chat application. Some status related to happiness, some were not so chirpy, people displayed their friend's picture in order to honour them on their big day like " Birthday" or "Wedding" etc.
Somehow I felt a bit low. Why ? Because in my entire life not a single person dedicated anything for me. Yet it didn't changed my behaviour for that person. Once I was unwell, one of my dear friend insisted for a birthday treat. I requested the person to wait for sometime & if possible accompany me to the doctor. Next day as usual the person failed to show up. I lost my cool. The same day we had an argument over the phone & separated our ways forever. Though I did forgive the person the other day but till date I never heard from that person. Once I was having a chat with one of my friend where I asked why people fail to show up or never make an attempt to keep in touch with you. My friend in a simple way stated " You make the first attempt, don't wait for other". To an extent it was a sane thing to do but practically it's just insane. I always have a bad experience with people specially making them stay in my life.
I have always prayed for their prosperity, wished to be together, fight all the odds, accept each other the way we are but alas things used to turn ugly.
I am different from others. I may not be available in their happy times but has always tried to catch them or support then whenever things are not in their favour. The only time you are remembered when there is a financial crisis or they are looking for some pleasures.
In the end, you surround yourself with darkness. Late night you are trying to get in touch with someone with whom you can vent things out but you somehow manage not to loose your dignity & just like the day light of the next day you promise to vanquish the darkness of your life & fight back.
And it's true, you are born alone, you will die alone. No one can love you more then you yourself. We are a traveller. The things which will remain with you are honesty, ethics, morals, innocence etc. I have always noticed that if I smile & talk to an unknown person, the other respond in the same way. This is what I like the most. I will share some more of my experience in my next post.
I know this post seems to be a bit gloomy & for the meantime through one of the page of my life I have made a paper boat which will sail through this virtual river & will be shared by the readers all over the world.
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