Desire or just a Need

Sometime we take a pause & think about people whom we cared or still care much more then our existence. We often wish for a miracle to take away all the obstacles of our life & just like a fairy tale have a happy ending.

I wish things were that easy. There is a famous quote about friendship. A friend in "need" is a friend "indeed". "Need" ? I mean why only there has to be a need to prove friendship. I may not be available in somebody's good times but I make sure whenever they require any emotional support or if I am able to perceive they are not following the right path, I am there to help them, guide them the right path.

But nowadays as the world is becoming a competitive unit, I fail to see any individual who can think about others & doesn't carry the self-centric behavior. You are only appreciated till you are the need for the hour. Later, just like a used tissue paper you are dumped. 

"Please. help me to complete my task as the boss needs it within an hour". "Please stay over as I have my assessment tomorrow & I need to get a good grade in order to join the volley-ball team". "Please, lend me 100 dollars I need to take my girl friend for a date" etc etc. Though some of you might say, Oh ! these are just small tasks you do it for your "buddies" , But hey, I know what's going to happen next. the same set of people will deny your existence the very next moment you are through with their work. The same colleague of yours will deny your existence at the Christmas party, the same college friend would imitate you behind your back. 

Instead of being a door-mat, one needs to rise like a flower bathed in the fresh dew drops, spreading it's fragrance everywhere  & attracting the positive signs of life. Every time you can't just be a need for someone. Refrain yourself from those energy eating worms. It's good to have handful of people who really admire your skills, your behavior, who love you for who you are, who takes the initiative by sending you a short message appreciating you  & knowing about your whereabouts. Appreciate such people as they desire to have someone like you unlike others you just need you.

Gopala : Our beloved Lord

In our house we worship the infant form of Lord Krishna, also known as Bal-Gopal. We affectionately refer him as our baby Gopala ( Gopal means the one who serves the holy cows )

As per the Indian mythology it is believed,Krishna was born to Devaki and her husband, Vasudeva on  earth in the Yadava clan; a prince named Kansa (who was actually an Asura by birth) had wreaked quite a havoc. During his sister Devaki's wedding ceremony, a divine prophecy (loud voice from the sky- Akasha Vani in Samskrutam) prophesied that the 8th son of Kansa's sister Devaki would kill Kansa.
Out of affection for Devaki, Kansa did not kill her outright. He did, however, send his sister and her husband (Vasudeva) and his father King Ugrasen to prison. Lord Vishnu himself later appeared to Devaki and Vasudeva and told them that he himself would be their eighth son and kill Kansa and destroy sin in the world. In the story of Krishna, the deity is the agent of conception and also the offspring. Because of his sympathy for the earth, the almighty lord Vishnu himself descended into the womb of Devaki and was born as her son, Vaasudeva (i.e., Krishna).

Because Kansa was uncertain of which of his 8 nephews would kill him, he brutally murdered all six of the children that Devaki had already given birth to by bashing their heads in ( a horrendeous sin he was comitting). When the 8th child was born, he was the reincarnation of Lord Vishnu, Lord Krishna. Vasudeva secretly carried the infant Krishna out of the prison and exchanged children with Nanda, a kinsman of Vasudeva, for his daughter. This daughter was yog maya, an incarnation of (Durga). She warned Kansa that his death had arrived in his kingdom and then disappeared. Krishna was adopted by Nanda and his wife Yasoda in Gokula

(in present-day Mathura district). Two of his other siblings also survived, Balarama (Devaki's seventh child, miraculously transferred to the womb of Rohini, Vasudeva's first wife) and Subhadra (daughter of Vasudeva and Rohini, born much later than Balarama and Krishna).



That auspicious day is celebrated as  Krishna's every year by Hindus & by the followers scattered world wide on the eighth day (Ashtami) of the Krishna Paksha (dark fortnight) of the month of Shraavana in the Hindu calendar.


Ever since I was a toddler, most of my time was spent in playing with idols of the divine. I have been celebrating Janamasthami for a long time. the first Janamasthami ritual was completed by me when I was 4 years old.



The current idol of our baby Gopala is 5 years old.I have painted his facial features & all the shringar ( decor) of the Lord is done by me everyday. This year too we celebrated his grand day with our family members on the auspicious day known as Janamasthami. I will share some of the pictures clicked by me ( though it's not easy to click often as you are the sole person to arrange the things & also perform the rituals ). In this blog I will just post the pictures of the celebration. This is just an attempt to share my love & care for our beloved Lord with all of you. Keep following & sharing. 

Initial preparation of the auspicious event: The decorated cradle of our baby Gopala & the holy pitcher kept for abhishekam

                                                                     


Vastra, Abhushana, Itra, Chandana : The pearl embedded cloth of the Lord, Jewellery in form of long necklace, earrings, jodhouri-haar , crown adorned with peacock feathers, perfume & Sandalwood paste

There he is: Our baby Gopala all ready for his midnight bath

Nand ke ghar anand bhayo jai kanhaiya laal ki: And after the Maha-Abhishek at midnight, the Lord is adorned with the clothes, ornaments, smeared with sandalwood paste, adorned with scented flowers like rose, jasmine along with his favorite lotus. We offered him delicacies & after singing his praises & offering the arrti we rock the cradle & finish our fast by taking the charanamrita.

  

The Chase

After biding goodbye to her friend she sunk back in the chair with a deep breath. She was staring at the empty blue sky. The hustle & bustle of the cafe didn't bothered her. She likes to live in solitude, though she did tried to open up with few of her colleagues & school friends but turns out it was a bad idea. Each time she thought she has find the perfect person to share her thought, turns out they used to mock her & pretended to empathise.

She gave everything to keep people happy & was there to support them emotionally. The only thing she desired was to receive the same amount of affection. Gradually she started to realise she was just meant to suffer the denials from her "loved ones". 

Today at the cafe she met her old colleague. At first her colleague was chatting with his own group, later when he realised she was about to leave, he dropped in to say hello. She was delighted to see her mate after a long time but later when she saw some of her other "friends" sitting in that group trying to hide themselves away from her sight, her smile disappeared for a second. The people whom she used to introduced as her loved ones to others denied to even pass a smile. She pretended as if she never saw them & started chatting with her mate. He stated due to his busy schedule he was not able to prioritise things & failed to keep in touch with her. With a smile on her face she accepted his facts & requested him to be in touch. By that time, the group was about to leave. She grabbed the book & pretended she was reading. She was merged in her own thoughts. 

That day she realised what a fool she was wasting her time for people who never appreciated her presence & only bothered to speak to her till she was needed. She was sick & tired of chasing people. She was tired to chase for the affection she was expecting from the wrong people.

All these years the imaginary expectations she had from the wrong sets of people was going to end. She realised that even if you sell your soul for someone you still will be disappointed. 

People who really care & love someone will always schedule theit time for you. For them the priority will be you no matter what the situation is. So gather yourself & stop chasing for things which are ungrateful & demonic. Don't let them suck out your positivity. Pray for everyone but never commit yourself with an imaginary relation. At the right time the right thing will happen & the right person will chase you for your love.

Fate

With the tears in her eyes she silently stood there on the threshold watching the sun go down the hill. The sky was getting dark but still one or two stars were twinkling with all their might to remove the darkness. She checked her phone again by going through the chat history. It was like a daily ritual for her to check her phone every now & then hoping to feel the warmth of love & care she has been missing since a decade.

The amount of time she has stayed late just for the sake of  getting a revert from her loved ones which ofcourse was in vain, started to reflect in form of bags developing under her eyes. Due to such behaviors she was termed as a lunatic, whore & other unpleasant adjectives coined by her "loved" ones.

Most of her contacts in her contact lists were so self-centered that not a single hello was received as a chat initiated by others.

Today she was mocked by some of the known faces who stated that people like her suffer, get exploited  & are not destined to have anyone in their life. Though she was shattered to hear such heart wrenching curses but with a smile on her face she relied "People like me don't even have a destiny ". 

Attachment or Desire

It's been along time since I have posted a new post. It's just I get drowned in the thoughts so much that I almost used to go to sleep :p Thinking about the same thing over & over again will just exhaust you mentally & physically.

Today after a deep thinking & after going through some good articles I was able to conclude a thing. That thing is whenever we like someone or something we leave a part of us in that thing. That's the reason you keep on thinking about it. And as that old saying goes, Let the thing go free, if it comes back it's yours ( Though someone may say nobody wanted it that's why it came back.....just kidding) 

I have experienced the same in  my life. And the worst part is no matter how much you are surrounded by the crowd, the person whom you barely know will be able to get the clue that something is wrong.

As for now I won't preach much as now I am all calmed down as I was having my favorite snack :p I will be back some other day with a new experience to share with all of you, till then keep smiling :) 

Inner Bliss

Woke up from a beautiful dream.So pure & enchanting feeling it was. Don't know, but was embraced by someone. I am not sure who it was but the way I was enveloped simply relieved me from all the worries, pain etc from my mind & heart. It was such a warm feeling that I have never experienced except when I sit on the banks of Ganges.  

After that warm feeling I discovered a new song which I have been playing since morning. It's true when you connect yourself with the universe, your questions are answered or you are provided with a comfortable blanket which envelopes you with love & care.

I acknowledged a wise quote long ago which stated " Whenever we cry, afterwards we feel asleep, this is the Almighty's way to comfort an individual" ( & I am not looking for any scientific reasons for this ). I agree with this statement. If we are conscious & connect ourselves with the nature/universe definitely we feel comfortable. Let me share my example, We traveled to a hill station three years ago. For me, it was like a decade I have been to hills. Anyways, we reached our destination & boy I was glad to see the view. Our camp was located in between the slope of the hills, just like a terrace farm. The weather was calm & cool. Birds were chirping, no noise of the traffic or any other sounds made by human interventions. The whole day we had some hiking activities. In the night, everyone was exhausted. It was a full moon day. After having the dinner I sneaked out from the group chat & placed myself on a rock facing the nature. Trust me I have never experienced this kind of solitude. I was about to go in a trance when I heard footsteps of someone. 

I wanted to share this feeling with all of you. Trust me the moment we make peace with yourself & surrender your though on whom you believe, everything will be taken care of. 
Most important you don't have to rely on someone or something other then yourself & the divinity. 
Just share the bliss with others for a meaningful & peaceful life.

Ignorance : A Bliss or an Excuse ?

Last two days went in a normal mode. Hence, didn't blogged though was annoyed with one of the creature I know who as usual was displaying his self-centered values. Hence, I was annoyed & it was quite late so just posted a status on one of the social application just to vent out my feelings.

I discussed with some of my near & dears that how can we overcome this feeling of annoyance. How can we manage to overcome our anger, anxiety & all ?

In a very philosophical way  they answered, just IGNORE. Yeah, like it's so easy. At my workplace when someone dear to be used to say something rude I used to feel low. When I discussed the same with my manager, he chose to take the safe path simply asking me to ignore, instead of having a counselling session & getting things sorted with the other person.

I fail to understand what kind of joy a person feels by hurting others, creating obstacles in someone's life, defaming others etc ? 

Rarely, I have seen an individual speaking something good about others. Today I visited a temple, along with me there were couple of more devotees waiting for the ceremony to start. It was like a foundation day of the temple today, hence a small ceremony was organised & a small feast was arranged for the evening. 

As it was a normal weekday the  percentage of devotees were less. Moreover, most of them promised to turn up in the evening for the feast( as usual ). The ceremony was on it's final stage when I suggested we should pray for everyone's well being & prosperity. To my utter surprise a devotee sitting next to me stated, nowadays no one follows it. Why should we be so humble ? I just smiled & ignored the statement & with all my faith on my Almighty I was able to complete the ceremony. Indeed I was relaxed & helped the other members to take the prasadam (  offerings graced by the Almighty, offered by vedic mantras & rituals ).

This is the kind of IGNORANCE I was looking for. It's not like I have got the enlightenment for the same but to an extent was able to implement it.

Ignorance in this case was rightful. I still need to implement the same in my other phases of life. Let's see how easy it will be for me to implement it. Though I try to deal with the situation rather follow the policy of ignorance everytime. As per my conclusion ignorance can be offered to a specific person with whom you don't want to be in touch at any cost. There are certain pricks in your life whom you yourself have to deal by plucking them out & ignoring their behavior towards you. Only the almighty can help them to have a fruitful life. 

One should learn to investigate, be a dealer because ignorance is not a bliss everytime.

If you have face been through the same situation or are facing it, please share with me. 

Express, Listen & Care

Nowadays we are addicted to the social applications. So do I. When I login to one of the application I see people posting things which make them happy, sad, angry etc, in short all kinds of emotions.

Even the social media has an option to determine how one feels ( as if we won't get the clue by their post ). Anyways I was going through some of the posts. I like to observe things. Some of the post were related to a particular incident where a person expresses the joy he/she has experienced on an occasion. Some expresses the feeling of betrayal, some were quotes as a short message for a specific person on how they made them feel or so. I observed if someone used to ask them why they are feeling so ( specially in case it's a sad post), the person used to deny that feeling simply stating it's just a "post".
I am not a psychiatrist, but I can clearly conclude through my experience that when a person feel low either they confine the things within themself or at times vent it through a social media, penning it down in a diary etc. The message can be in form of a quote, a short paragraph etc. ( if we talk about the virtual world ).

If I talk about my own experience. yes I have the tendency to sometimes gulp things down & sometimes I am like lets search a quote for that. But not only I express myself I also try to share the message in such a way so that people can relate to it & can overcome the same.
As usual it gets acknowledged by the people who know me & can empathise.You know what helps me to calm down is the feeling that it has been vented out.
But one needs to be careful from being to expressive on the wrong platform . Nowadays we have so many ways to blog/vlog our emotions but one needs to be wise while sharing. We live in a world where the percentage of people who actually "empathise" with your feelings are less as compared to the audience who are available in plenty.
Being expressive is fine but one needs to be wise with whom it's shared. Sometime people might take an advantage of your weakness. I have often heard that one needs to be strong a be determined, which is fine but, an individual who has a kind heart in this cruel world is the bravest of all. Often people judge others & place their verdict by simply stating one can confine it's feeling, there is no room for drama. I beg to differ from them as everyone has the right to express their feelings but it needs to be appropriate, wise & soulful.
When you get the message, understand it, show the interest, involve yourself by responding , neutralise your feeling. Trust me it will make you as well as the messenger happy or satisfied to some extent. 
Deep inside I do feel everyone has the right to express, an ear who listens ( might be a human or the omnipresent Almighty), be loved.
It's really easy to sympathise but quite difficult to walk in their shoes & walk a mile.

Exist while survive

Back after a long pause. Everyday I used to think that today I will mention the current scenario on the blog. Later, I used to be so low with energy & as I was going through some personal issues that I used to re-scheduled the things for the other day.
I tried to keep this blog anonymous so that I can vent out things without the readers knowing me. On a second thought I was like, how does it matter even if my details appears as a blogger. Hence, I switched back to the normal mode.
Once I was going through my contact available in my phone & was checking the status updated by them on a social chat application. Some status related to happiness, some were not so chirpy, people displayed their friend's picture in order to honour them on their big day like " Birthday" or "Wedding" etc.
Somehow I felt a bit low. Why ? Because in my entire life not a single person dedicated anything for me. Yet it didn't changed my behaviour for that person. Once I was unwell, one of my dear friend insisted for a birthday treat. I requested the person to wait for sometime & if possible accompany me to the doctor. Next day as usual the person failed to show up. I lost my cool. The same day we had an argument over the phone & separated our ways forever. Though I did forgive the person the other day but till date I never heard from that person. Once I was having a chat with one of my friend where I  asked why people fail to show up or never make an attempt to keep in touch with you. My friend in a simple way stated " You make the first attempt, don't wait for other". To an extent it was a sane thing to do but  practically it's just insane. I always have a bad experience with people specially making them stay in my life.

I have always prayed for their prosperity, wished to be together, fight all the odds, accept each other the way we are but alas things used to turn ugly.

I am different from others. I may not be available in their happy times but has always tried to catch them or support then whenever things are not in their favour. The only time you are remembered when there is a financial crisis or they are looking for some pleasures.

In the end, you surround yourself with darkness. Late night you are trying to get in touch with someone with whom you can vent things out but you somehow manage not to loose your dignity & just like the  day light of the next day you promise to vanquish the darkness of your life & fight back.
And it's true, you are born alone, you will die alone. No one can love you more then you yourself. We are a traveller. The things which will remain with you are honesty, ethics, morals, innocence etc. I have always noticed that if I smile & talk to an unknown person, the other respond in the same way. This is what I like the most. I will share some more of my experience in my next post.

I know this post seems to be a bit gloomy & for the meantime through one of the page of my life I have made a paper boat which will sail through this virtual river & will be shared by the readers all over the world.

Day 2 & 3 :Life is a celebration

Yes, I am guilty I didn't blog yesterday. We have a nine day celebration where we fast ( we don't consume any grains etc only survive on fruits & juice). 
I just uploaded some pictures on a social media regarding the celebrations that takes place in my home & how it feels when we indulge in spiritual acts & sacrifice ourself to the dear Almighty. 
Yes, I will share a picture with all of you. For the meantime I will end this blog & promise to be with you tomorrow. If you want you can suggest me any topic where I can also share my views on it.
Stay blessed :) keep smiling :) 

Life & Expectation

Back after a long time. Everyday I used to think today I will write a post or so but the thoughts used to remain confine in the mind. Everyone wants to be happy, loved & taken care of. But when you realise you yourself  are the source of happiness all these expectations take a back seat. In the ancient scriptures it's mentioned, whatever you do, don't expect, & it's true. Expectation does kills. In my life I always cared for my near & dears, but the things which I did wrong was, expected from wrong people, the thinking that if I do good people will behave in the same. That thinking used to make me feel weak.Today I am at a position where I trust myself but still care for others. I know what you are thinking it's a life of solitude but I would say it's all about being wise. Anyways, today I have started the blog & have promised myself everyday I will share my views of  life with you all. Till then keep smiling & stay blessed.